My perception

what had you learned lately my dears?

i learned that there's lots of things i thought i know, i understand, i embody them, i then realized that actually subconsciously that's not what i hold at the bottom of my heart.

not that i had reached the bottom yet.

here's my story.

last night we went for a movie. i invited my old friend, a pretty girl. i was really surprised to see that she was having dinner with a guy whom i regularly go out with (he is one of our hang out group) -who was also up for the movie.

to be honest, i dont know the two of them that well, but i had hang out with him many times so i noticed how differently he treated my friend. those little body language, gestures, really strike me that he cares for this girl. he talked to her throughout the movie, commenting here and there.

although in every sense i KNOW i should be naturally be HAPPY for them, it wasn't easy at all. it's the same feeling i had for my dear cousin and her perfect boyfriend. jealousy? i dont particularly have any special feeling for this tall handsome guy. it did crossed my mind once or twice, because some friends were pointing that i should give it a try, but i dont sense any chemistry. more towards buddy type. and i knew my friend-she used to fall for jerks, so this time it's a really good catch. or good match.

then 'ting!' my guardian angel whispered to me.

'it's not a race my dear. it's not a race. why do you feel like you are losing?' true. two single friends are stepping into another stage. why must i compare my life stage to the others? though it might feel a bit lonely when they stepped out from our group. sigh, changes is permanent.

'do you feel like the good ones are already taken? and the supply is getting less and less? that you wont have anything good left?' i said no, no, i already know that it's a false belief.

but i checked with my heart and it's true. although from reading self help book, the Secret, and other similar book- it told me that it's a most common false belief in our society and i thought 'alright, noted' but i always feel upset when similar story happened and confused as to why i was upset.

thank you, im going to override it. im going to do my best to pull this false belief out, down to its roots.

'i know that you dont have a guy by your side now. but that doesn't mean you dont have one prepared for you. you just haven't met him yet. not you wont meet him at all.'

'be strong & be patient'

nod nod.