im very grateful that xydra came to visit me for two days.

hadn't been talking and laughing for such a long period of time!

hopefully the next time i see her again will be able to talk and laugh as much as what we had earlier on.

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one more presentation to go! wish me good luck!

and afterwards, i want to do a throughout research and data gathering for places to visit around UK =)

and then afterwards, need to start applying for jobs and sending out resume~~~

TGIF

a beautiful sunny friday, and i had smooth-sailingly submitted my final project.

Thanks God, really thank you for all the smoothness.

i even got a best display place, right in front of the entrance! first spot! super lucky me =) it's decided by random pick, and i didn't even check first which are the desirable spot before i pick the number.

Thanks God.

after having all other classmates board up, and comparing with each other, im glad i didnt fall too far behind.

it's a beautiful day.

out for groceries at night, with the baby soft blue sky hanging above 7.30 pm. with the roads that are emptying and less noise, it was very serene (even though i live in city centre!)

and another unexpected present! xydra lau is coming to visit me tomorrow! for real!

=D nice surprise! hope saturday and sunday will be as pretty as today.

i promise to be happier after my submission.

few more hours to go. still have left over stuffs to do.

thanks God for everything, even arranging my auntie visit day.

today was horrible, combined with more than 4rounds of vomitting.

well =,= my own fault for laying down before properly digested my lunch :( bcoz of the cramp.

then woke up hungry and then finished my cherries. bad decision! the fruit created acid and vomit them out again (what a waste)

but all said, im totally fine now. luckily had finished the most important and big chunk of work yesterday.

and the weather was really bad today. heavy rain.

so, thank you very much my God, i hope tomorrow all will be fine.

no, i know it will be just fine.

ps. i know what i would miss the most when i leave birmingham. it's my wonderful bedroom with bathroom attached. love it! thank you!

moody me

hanging on a thin thread

cry randomly while blowing dry my hair. im not the type that cry often though.

really appreciate the presence of my tutor Tony. great teacher with patient to handle and to get me talking.

the other tutor Stephen, he is a great teacher too. all the while im listening to him interacting with the other girls im sure he is a very passionate and good teacher.

but he is just not treating me the same. cant be helped, he is not superman so im fine with it.

im really glad that tony is around. otherwise i would have been more miserable and felt alone.

im not even sure while my tears are running down. i hope i will feel better after this. all this weeks im not sad or happy but i cant manage a sincere smile and it had been ages since the last i laugh aloud.

i want to laugh aloud.

how silly is that. how silly is that.

our life is a long learning journey

and many of the days are about re-learn things we had already learned before.

today for me it's about calming the inner storm.

my heart doesn't sit well and i cant quite figure out why. im technically pretty well on track for my final year project, living in a good place with good housemates and eating good foods yet im not feeling perfectly well.

i keep looking outward for the solution and when i could find none to fill this thirst, it felt even more miserable than before.

Buddha reminds me that happiness comes from within, therefore seek it not without.

i think i have some stuffs i m unwilling to admit or to face. i wonder what.

sedih.

my blog has turned into (no, i had turned my blog into-to be exact) a rubbish bin

im feeling totally awful right now.

i lost my wallet during my trip and thus still owe a friend an amount in euro.

yesterday i thought finally i had cleared it, banked in euro into her account.

idiotic me. it is auto converted into pound!

and she replied in email

'I got the money already. But the thing is there is £8 short referring to the exchange rate shown in www.xe.com.

Look, I'd like to help people but not to the extent of losing money. So I'm wondering if you could pay me in euro instead, & you wont even feel you have to pay more. Let me know how you think & then I'd try to figure out the transaction fee to wire the money from HSBC to your bank. Are you holding HSBC account as well?'

T________________T it's all my fault, and it feels really awful.

but i had replied and explain that i banked in euro and it's my fault not to clarify about the auto-convert-system.

and tell her that i didnt mean to cheat with exchange rate, and because internet rate always better than bank or currency exchange agent rate.

:( super unhappy now.

i wonder if this is mood swing

the day before i was still fine and striving for my project

and yesterday i was all blank, cant manage to create a thing or do anything at all.

i dont know why, i cant understand and i am afraid.

there's still lots to do, and they dont seems to decrease in proportion

and i feel lost again about my design

i think i feel bad because i sense something is very wrong with my design, but i dont know which point or whether i have time to dwell on it, and then feel conflicted and ended up doing nothing.

how silly, how silly. how to sort this out

i just want to run away from it

yet i know each time i want to run away from something, it is exactly the thing i need to confront.

God, please give me some clue.

a nice song to listen before you go to sleep =) nevermind there's nothing to see in the video and nevermind i dont understand a single word, i just know that it's lovely.

thank you my laptop!!!!!!! for surviving the rendering ordeal!!!!! thank you very much!!!!!

i didn't expect this to last 12 hours, 51 min and 15 sec for 2000x1288 pxl image.

purposely print screen this as memory ^_______^ look at the bottom left-it shows the rendering time.

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2 more weeks to go to submission date.

dear Lord, thank you for my holiday trip, thank you for your protection and thank you that for sending me home safely.

i had taken 2047 pictures for 11 days trip!

wait for me sorting them and uploading it =)