realisation

yesterday, i kinda finally understand something. let me break the story down properly.

story 1.

i had it at the back of my mind to invite my old friend Hendra to join us if we have an outing. i needed company so i arrange a meet up for last saturday night. only then i realize i do not have his no in my old phone. and i was too lazy to ask another friend to invite him.

do you know what happened on satuday night before i left the house for the outing?

it was raining cats and dogs. windy and thunder flashing lighting.

and a stranger number appeared to be sending the wrong message to me. after a few sms, it turns out that it is Hendra!!

universe provides.

story 2.

i needed company, yet the weather was so terrible. almost everybody gave up, and so did i. except that i had already done with my make up. i was so glad a friend called up and at the end, our of innitial 7, three of us had a nice dinner catching up, failed to catch late movie, and ended up playing monopoly at a cafe.

in the car, i felt safe being with them. familiar faces. i thought, i am so blessed. although we are the quite-er one among the group, there wasn't any problem with conversation flow that night.

universe provides. and later on that night, the wind and rain quite down.

story 3.

sunday evening, i felt tired and sad. mom was scolding me over something trivial. and i miss him alot. when i needed someone to talk to, my bestie message me on facebook. once i told her i wasn't feeling well, she kept me companied and when i thanked her, she said, 'this is what friends are for'

universe cares for me.

story 4.

i received my bestie email reply on sunday morning. in a part of the email she shared her mom's experience as a daughter in law. at the beginning she was branded the least likeable by her mother in law because she isn't the sweet-talker-type. but as years gone by, grandma started to praise her mom and later on considering her as the best daughter in law comparing to the others. because she proved herself through actions not just words.

my bestie had overthrown something my mom has been trying to make me to believe. everytime she scolds me she would end it with 'with such a character as yours, no mother in law will like you. can't you learn how to sweet talk? if you dont know how to sweet talk your mother in law wont love you'

universe looked after me.

story 5 and many mores.

i received a freelance work, which can helps me to continue brushing my skill and expertise in design.

i have always arrived safely to my destinations despite clumsy driving skill (improving now)

i found a massage therapist before my leg started to feel weird. and the therapist fixed my leg for me.

the traffic light that used to always turns red whenever i reached the junction now stays green and waited for me to crossed the road. Universe listened to my request.

and how rain always quite down whenever i need to be outside on a rainy day. magically.

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those are what i can recall now.

those blessings are what makes me realize something. the trigger was hendra's wrong sms.

i had only kept hendra in my mind for past few days fleetingly, yet universe delivered him right to my hand.

i kept Will in my head and replaying and entertaining false hopes and dreams and crying out in my head to him, and even sent two emails on xmas and new year.

yet he had never ever since that day, reappear in my life.

that could only mean one reason, since Universe loves me and always granted my wishes.

because it's no good to have him anymore.
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it's a starry starry night tonight. i played Don Mclean's over and over again. but there's no tear to my eyes. i no longer feel like crying anymore.

thank you Universe. for always looking after me.