journey back home part 3

Part 3

20 Dec, early in the morning, shu shu sent me to airport. We pass by this super big house, just like a palace. And it’s vacant. Where is the rich owner then? @_@ what a money power display in Surabaya. The area where I stayed was rich area; the houses all are big like castle, at least double stories.

While not far then you can find gubuk made of plywood or just the weed wall. Such a overwhelming contrast….

At airport at least they treat us well, there’s a special counters for us. The good lady yesterday was mbak mila. (mbak=miss) and there’s 2 single mother with kids. One is with daughter and one is with son. So sweet to see after a day both of them become friend ^^ hahaha… here’s are their pics. Mila, vania and Justin.

Surprise!!! I met an old friend! Annet Tampi! After…5 years I think *_* and we are on the same plane~ she was my senior from junior high to senior high and was my English course classmate. Such a smart energetic and charming girl! She is with her younger sis (who looks exactly like her, plus exactly same hairstyle) and her sis’s friend, Grace.

Yesterday money from the airline I used it to buy asterix and obelix comic ^o^

The flight delay again. Delay for around 2 hours L cihhhhh~ hate this airline!

Another surprise! Uci is on the same plane too! Steicy pungus *_* hahaha~ was my junior at high school. At next to me sit passenger from yesterday. She told me, her friend who board yesterday hasn’t gotten her luggage yet. So even yesterday passengers have to back to airport today for their luggage.

Arriving at Manado, it’s around 8. We waited for 40 minutes before they shouted ‘bagasi habis’?!??!?!?!??? Where’s mine?!?!?!?!

And so I get to see some interesting fight. An auntie with a super loud and garang voice scolded the airport’s people. An uncle is ready to punch the officer too, only to be held back by her daughter. It was a mess. The auntie was yesterday’s passenger. She shout ‘masa saya terlantar di negeri sendiri?!’ and there’s a big fat young guy too ready to punch those officers.

I get to hear some interesting opinions. “kalau Cuma satu dua yg tertinggal nda apa2” exactly like what I heard yesterday, one of the victims, a girl –just a little bit older than me- ask the Surabaya officer “kenapa ini bisa terjadi pak? Kalo satu dua saja yg tertinggal kan nda apa, ini, kita ada belasan orang loh” (How can this happened Sir? I can understand if the leftover is 1-2 people, but here we have almost 20 people)

I snapped her back “biar Cuma satu dua pun ga bole donk! Kita sudah bayar, sudah confirm tiketnya berarti kita punya hak utk dapat seat sama bagasi 20 kg! ga bole ada yg tertinggal!”

I can’t belief this kind of mentality!! They take it that if it’s happen to one two people or the missing luggage is one or two it’s ok. It’s acceptable as misfortune. Or perhaps they accept it as fact ‘inilah indonesia’ so they will always accept errors to happen.

Hey. What if it’s only you they left at Surabaya airport? What if it’s only your luggage is missing? No. it’s purely an irresponsible act, such an unprofessional work from country’s airline!!! When you had purchase and confirm your ticket, no matter how cheap it is compare to others, you have the exact same right as those whose ticket cost double or triple than you.

My luggage only back to me on 22 Dec. the bag where I put roast duck smell like shit. And make my darlings soft toys smell like shit too. Arrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggg but they pay me RP400000 = RM140. the officer who sent it to my house smile and said ‘mbak nanti balik malaysia naik merpati ya’ WALAO LEH~ am I looks that dumb?

By now, you must have wondered which shitty airline is it. It’s MERPATI, owned by government. shitty attitude and work manners.

I’m still angry at myself. The officers who send those bags home ask me who is in charge at Surabaya on 19 Dec. I said I don’t know their name. None of us ask his name. He said if he had names it’s better to evaluate them. I told him to just find who is on the afternoon shift 19 Dec la~ he said what? ‘yah klo begitu susah lacaknya’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s the point anyway even if I had those shitty officers name? But I should have their names jotted down as whom responsible for my flight delay and luggage delay.

Such a mess happens to me because I’m stupid. I’m angry to myself. I let those things happen to me and I don’t know how to react. Never mind, as I belief things happen for good reason, this journey happen to teach me to be smart. I had to outsmart things like this to survive. Being angry and throw tantrum is not enough. I have to handle things better and be prepared for worst to worst. Be quick, alert, and controlled.

Indonesia is a place with super lots of law loopholes. You can see it as bad place; you can also see it as a challenging place. As Robert Kiyosaki said, to be rich, you had to be creative. The rich use these loopholes to become richer. It’s whether you can handle situation or not. The poor angry and throw tantrum and blame things. When they accepted it as ‘inilah indonesia’ they automatically close their mind and stop finding solutions or better situation. Well, if there’s more and more child being educated in ‘inilah indonesia’ way, Indonesia will never raise.

As for now, I don’t want to stay and grow old in Indonesia.

And please, NEVER SIT IN MERPATI AIRLINE. Never! You can choose either Batavia or Lion air. It’s also low cost carrier.

journey back home part 2

Part 2

19 Dec, early in the morning Pak Mat sent me to airport. Sleepy and tired, all I hope it to quickly check in my luggage and find a good sit to sleep.

I was shocked. When I check in at the counter, the guy said my flight is not 730, it’s 1345. 730 is the plane no!!!!! it’s MZ730 but on the paper type MZ 730 and I mis-read it T_T OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Omg. Ok, as long as not late it’s ok. So I –being half asleep-and stupid- drag my 2 heavy luggages +backpacked and sleep at some chair. There’s a porter sit next to me say hi and ask where I’m leaving to. I said Manado, and he said ‘oh natalan?’ and then he ask, ‘mana suaminya?’

!!!!!!!*%#)@Q)$%&*#&&!&!!*#$(@)!@))@!)*@**@#&%

I snapped him ‘emang saya terlihat begitu tua?!’

He blinked and said ‘oh??? Maaf, saya kepikirnya, ~~~’

OMG SUCH AN INSULT ON MY MISFORTUNE MORNING >.<>

Hungry, I try to look for somewhere to buy food. I saw a guy coming from upstairs with food and water. Hmnn…it’s till 8 in the morning, so I decide to drag my luggage upstairs. Heeh? Upstairs have so many empty sits! After buy some food I sit peacefully and fall asleep.

Then woke up around 10…still early… then read Rich Dad Poor Dad.

I am highly recommending this to everyone, especially those preparing to enter the workforce and start to earn money. Rich Dad Poor Dad might open your eyes bigger and set your mind about money and how to handle it. There are a lot of advices here.

I was thinking the flight is 1345, for local flight, the counter open one hour before departure while international flight the counter open two hours before. So I decide around 1300 only go down for check in. no escalator down. So I had to slowly carry my luggage.

Another surprise! There had been a super duper long queue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there’s just one counter. Can’t belief it! Regretted that I should come down earlier….arg….. While I patiently queue, there’s SO MANY uncle auntie young old just simply masuk tengah. No wonder the queue is not moving T_T shit dumb rude people! Even those TKI are better!

Suddenly the other counter written ‘Jakarta-Delay’ called those on Manado line. So the queue now is shorter by half. Happily waiting, suddenly the queue stop. Half an hour before flight, and at my back still lots of ppl. Then 15 minutes before flight. The ‘Jakarta Delay’ counter say no to me when I asked ‘check in Manado?’

The girl at counter act dumb and keep looking at back. I told her ‘apa sih masalahnya mbak? 15 menit lagi jam 2, saya skrg terancam di tinggal pesawat donk??’ finally 5 minutes before flight she told all of us ‘langsung saja ke belakang mbak utk mengecek.’

At the back there’s a small office. And the uncle in charge told us the biggest surprise of the day.

‘sorry pesawatnya sudah penuh’ ?!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!

How can that happen? Then what is it that I’m holding now? My ticket? And my dad’s money? It’s a confirmed ticket. Written 19 Dec to Manado. With my booking number. What was it that I had purchase? A ghost seat??? Wtf???

All that uncle can said is sorry. All he can give is tomorrow seat.

And those fucking people drag us and keep walking here and there till around 1530, without food and water and seat.

There’s a bunch of aunties with small kids, who are having wedding dinner tonight at Manado. They are so angry and kept scolding the uncle, especially because it’s a close relative and because they received bad treatment when they were at Manado fly to Surabaya. They are from Manado. The bad treatment was that their luggage overweight and normally other flight if it’s just 1 or 2 kgs it’s ok sometimes. But the girl at Manado check in counter was so garang to them. And happened that there’s a guy goin to Surabaya without a single luggage, so these aunties want to tumpang some under that guy’s account. The girl scolded these aunties ‘tidak bisa! Memangnya ibu-ibu mau bertanggung jawab kalau terjadi apa apa???’ wah…it’s not like we are terrorist mah…

There’s a guy who haven’t been home 6 years and tomorrow is Idul Adha. It’s a big muslim celebration. He wants to be on time to kiss his mom’s hand.

There’s a girl scientist, going Manado and other nearby cities for sampling. She is suppose to work in group with tight schedule.

You must have wonder how come such thing can happen right?

After hearing from those aunties, I figure out that at Indonesia, anything can happen. Anything! There’s this dirty play. My ticket was bought 1 month before with low price, RP700000 one way. Even though it had been confirmed, but the one who decide who on board or not are those working on check in counter.

The nearer the day you purchase ticket to the day of the flight, the more expensive it will be. So if there’s actually people buying at last minute, seat that is normally 700000 can became 1-2 million. And so, they will kick people like me out de~ who are to be blame? Kantor pusat? Those who taking order? Or actually those at the counter?

I get a confession from the people at the airline itself. He said, it’s normal to be like this during high season. !@)#@!*!*(#@&*$)#** NORMAL??? And he said, better queue long before the counter open to be secure, because,

“inilah Indonesia~”

WTF!!!!!!

He said, it’s normal that during high season they will do overbooking. So if there’s only 170 seat, they will accept 180 request and of course the money. And then they will do what they had done to me today, kick me to tomorrow flight. So I am probably victims from yesterday overbooking flight, and I will MOST probably make a person lose her seat tomorrow.

I am so angry to myself. Had I had ever heard such thing, I will definitely queue long before the counter open. I will even masuk tengah if it’s necessary. I wont just stupidly patiently wait in the line thinking that ‘why cant those barbarians be patient and queue up like an educated person?’ because there’s no rules in Indonesia. I really never ever imagine such thing!!!! or I should have make the morning counter put me in waiting list, if there’s an empty sit then I can just take the morning one.

All you have to do is to outsmart everything to stay alive. Be prepared for everything. The worst scenario always happens here. Inilah Indonesia.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

They said they will give hotel to us. Feel so insecure. And my digi is dead. Can’t contact dad. AAAAAAAAAAAA and cant receive any call too!

there’s a good lady, when she heard that I wanted to borrow telp to those uncle in charge, she lend me hers and I call dad to call me back asap.nDad said he just called the airline office and they told him I’m on board ady. WHAT?! Such a misleading info! I’m still stuck at their check in counter and they told him I am at the plane? Wah…

At last they bring us to lounge for lunch, geez. The lounge had almost no food at all!! It’s around 15.30 ady.

I told dad I want to back to my relative house. Ai called me, and she said get the compensation in cash. Oh. Never cross my mind. Not having a handphone at such situation is really hard. Then I waited around 3 hours before pak Mat picked me up again. I had trouble them so much………………

Back to their house with RP250000 from the airline.

At night Ce Alin and Ika bring me to watch movie. Plus her cousin, four of us watch WARLORDS, starring Jet Li, Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro.

Jet li looks short and fat when he’s together with Andy and Takeshi ^^; Andy Lau is really a handsome uncle. Both of them are the main characters. The story is about Jet Li wanting to be a leader so that he can stop misfortune happen to the citizen. With his righteous ambition, he tries to lead the mountain thief group and made them into emperor soldiers and starts war to conquer cities. At first they get some victories, but then the elders asking more out of him and at the end it sacrifies too many from his group.

At the end? Jet li under manipulation kills Andy and get killed by Takeshi. They become the pawns in political play by the elders. Just like in prison break everyone actually is the part of the bigger plot by the politicians. Shit. Politic is so dangerous.

dinner after movie

journey back home part 1

My horrible terrible and vegetable journey back to home (in details)

Part 1

Because this going to be long so I separate it into parts ^^;

18 Dec 07, I had successfully fit almost all my stuffs inside the storage. Still left some unpacked and I haven’t bought my lunch and credits for digi.

Early morning I received msg from Lammy asking me to send 5 best works by tonight for exhibition. @_@ !!!!!!!!!!!!!! After explaining my situation she said ok that I can send it by 20 Dec. so shit~ such important thing didn’t inform earlier…

Eh?? The taxi is here? He arrived half an hour earlier than our arrangement. When I told him to wait a while because I want to go buy some lunch at raspberry, he said he will drive me there. I said it’s ok but he insisted and said ‘duh, sombong amat sih’ (why are u so arrogant to rejected my kindness?) and opened his front sit door.

What to do? I sit in front and he started conversation with asking whether I have boyfriend or not. Last time when I was in his taxi and answered this question honestly, it didn’t turn out well coz he kept giving me lectures about youth, not being lesbian, and saying want to introduce me to this and that guy.

So I just laugh and say a big fat lie. Then he started the interrogation bout where did he come from, where he stayed, and even wanted to see the picture. WeW!@#@*$#@!!!

I told him we just started so no pictures yet. And he kept asking why my boyfriend didn’t send me to airport, say a lot of rubbish, and even ask me to show him my boyfriend! (Who are u anyway?!) he said I had come so far to Malaysia, he doesn’t want me to be bullied by any guy, and he offered me his jampi2 which he guarantee will only harm a bad guy. And he said if my guy had ever betray me for other girl, after kena this jampi2 he will for sure kneel down on my knees and cry for forgiveness @_@ and will love me forever.

What the fuck. I laugh and say, there’s no need for such things. If he wanted to leave then it’s the proof of his stupid-ness to choose other than me. He looked disgrace, “kamu tak percaya kah barang ni?” GOSH of course I belief this kind of stuffs. But to me it’s just for losers to use it. Loses defeat loser, loses inspire winner. (from Rich Dad Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki on dealing with risk) there’s a lot more guy to met right?

My flight is air asia to Surabaya. Then will continue next day from Surabaya to Manado.

After taking out my luggage and locking the house, I found that he put my 2 luggages on the back seats which indirectly imply that I had to sit in front. I know this pakcik, so even uncomfortable but to be polite I just sit in front.

And I regretted it.

No no no he didn’t do anything, thanks God!! But it opened my eyes big enough to know you have every single right to sit at the back and the luggage it to be put at the storage. and I will never ever sit his damn fucking taxi anymore.

* I’m still angry to think about it. Angry that I let myself to be in such situation. I will be smart next time.

I know him from my cousin Anggun. He is pakcik big customer. But I can’t belief that he talked bad on me about Christine who is Anggun’s sister. (my cousin too~) “christine is sombong, tak seperti anggun. Dia itu kasar. Tak tau kenapa.”

#%%#))!)@@*!!! and I didn’t defend her. My fault!!! T_T I regretted it. my habit of not confronting people even when they talk bad bout people dear to me is such a coward action. Ergggg. I hate me. I will do better next time T_T

He wasn’t this terrible before. I only remember him as an annoying uncle who keeps talking lots of things nonstop at his taxi. This time, his contents of conversations show his real side.

He kept talking about a bunch of lesbian at pjs 9 there. He said those girls asked him to buy vibrators, whiskey, and other alcohols. He said he is close with them, like own daughters, even eat at their kitchen. But this time the girl said don’t go into the house, ‘nanti pakcik shock’ but he manage to get a peak from the curtain that at the living room with dim red light he saw lots of naked girls watching movie. Some were totally naked, some half naked.

And then a lecture about going to normal road rather than being homosexual.

And follow up with story about handsome Australian gay who sit at his car. He said that gay scared him coz keep touching his arm that’s why he ended up removing his window stickers.

And another bunch of lesbians at lim kok wing. And he details of his journey to HELP them buy vibrators.

And about plastic woman ‘apa yg peggy punya dia juga punya. Itu getahnya sama seperti kulit
wanita’ !@!*#@&$&@&!!!!!!! I didn’t get it at first, but he told the whole story about his past, being a sailor at oil ship, and having a gay captain, forbidding the crews to bring women to ship, only see land after 8 months, and landing at America buying plastic woman.

Arggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!

And bout his sailor friends who spent all his money on prostitute every night, and died because of aids, and his advice to the friend ‘kalo mau harus pilih yang bersih’ so he said it’s good to have plastic woman. In malaysia you can find plastic man, but hard to find plastic woman.

I had tried to change conversation but he kept changing back to those stories.

And he had helped a girl abort baby, from finding the doctor, helped her sign the paper, helped to bring her to rest at hotel after abortion.

‘Help’??!! no wonder he came across so many similar troubles, he promote himself that way that’s why!

And finally some normal one, bout my hometown friend. He said that guy had finally found girlfriend ‘tapi yah, itu leo kan kurus, pacar dia gemuk, besar. Seperti kodok sama kura2’ so I said, what he see in that girl is her heart. And he simply answer ‘yah itu mereka sudah tidak ada pilihan lagi’ he said it in a way means that being ugly make them have less choice and just hantam the leftover.

If he is against homosexual, I understand about it. It’s not yet an accepted issue for Asians.

But here, it totally shows that he is just a mere moron pervert who had swallow mind and judge people by their look. He looked down on those who he thinks not handsome and not pretty.

and to make it worst, LCCT is much further than KLIA.

Ah. Finally I arrive at LCCT. Thanks God…I will never ever take his taxi anymore.

I was surprise to see LCCT. It’s damn packed, damn crowded, full with TKI (tenaga kerja Indonesia) and I couldn’t see the queue line coz it’s just too many ppl, and the lines become intersecting with other lines, even it’s hard to move around, mostly people carry big big luggage with them. And I was very worried coz the Surabaya line is damn long. I worried that people wouldn’t queue and just masuk tengah like in indo. The line was not moving for quite sometime. Glad that they finally open one more counter, and I realize that even though it’s messy there, there’s lines. People are queuing, and I didn’t see anyone masuk tengah. So glad…

We had to walk to the plane but it give me good opportunity to take pic ^^

I sit beside 2 guys, they worked at Sabah and going back Surabaya after years. In front of us there’s a baby, keep shouting. But I was so tired that it can’t stop me from falling asleep. I though the baby shout is because he felt uncomfortable, but! When the baby turned back and look at us, I can see that he was shouting coz he was excited! AWWW a super cute baby!!!! He kept smile and shout aaaah~ aaaaaaa~ so energetic! Hehehe~~~ such a cute cure! (>.<>

It was a good flight, not much turbulence.

Ce alin and Ika and pak Mat picked me up at the airport. And then my dinner is iga penyet. It’s iga sapi bakar with sambal. Omg….it’s super delicious!! *_* after an apple pie as lunch, this is definitely heaven~~~~~ (stupid me, I forgot to take pic again)

Back to their home, ai said my flight tomorrow is 730. I didn’t really understand the ticket, so I just trusted her and go to sleep.

was my corner

when there's meeting, there will be a farewell

2 years i had stayed at no.16 pjs9/26

i had grown to love it. from the entrance, the big tree in front of it,
the cat family who made our garden as their toilet (but hey, they guarantee there will be no rat around our place! i rather choose cat than rat ^^ a dear friend make me realize this fact! thanks!)
the super messy living room, the dirty kitchen with lots cockroach ^^;

and of course, my bedroom. me and another 3 girls bedroom ^^ it's a super big room for 4.


i love my corner very much! when i open my eyes, i can see the sky and the tree
and the side window bring morning sunshine to my face.
when the night come, it's one of the coolest place :)
it's really a nice spot, I'm truly blessed.
that's why it makes the farewell hard.....

this is where i had rooted for 2 years, where i take rest from all troubles for the past 2 years, and also where i had found inspirations, place to practice my presentations, and lots more..

here's was my table. where i had produce all my works, my very own corner :)

here' is the tree in front of the house. this is last year 2006 pic.. sad that the flowers didn't blossom this year...i had been waiting to see it..but it never show up anymore... which actually means that i got to see it last year was a great honour wasn't it? ^^

Malaysia's sakura :p which doesn't blossom every year

cute present hehehe

i can't help but to show off this cute bunny :) thanks a lot to xydra for this bday present :) it's a hand phone accessories but after using it for few days i lost the leaf for the carrot (it suppose to have green leaf there) haha~ so i just keep it save at box de~

I'm HOME!!!

i' m home!!!!! finally!!! there's no better place to be in this whole world.....than to be in home.

the cool natural air is calling me to bed~ gtg tomorrow goin to tell you my HORRIBLE journey. ah and the dead of my digi no. currently I'm using simpati.

quotation: LESSON OF LIFE

repacking my stuffs is hard T_T it's almost 1 and i haven't bath T_T

found my notebook from high school time. was wondering whyyyyyy i bring it here and have to bring it back again indo...so troublesome......

but when i decide to have a look, i remember why. there's lot words of wisdom in it. quotation from somewhere, lighting my journey during my high school. here's a very special one, which i found truth in every line. ( feel like highlighting every line ^^; hahahaha)

Lesson of Life

i feared being alone,
until i learned to like myself

i feared failure,
until i realized that i only fail when i don't try

i feared success,
until i realized that i had to try in order to be happy with myself

i feared people's opinions,
until i learned that they would have opinion about me anyway

i feared rejection,
until i learned to have faith in myself

i feared pain,
until i learned that it's necessary for growth

i feared truth,
until i saw the ugliness in lies

i feared life,
until i experienced its beauty

i feared death,
until i realized that is not an end but a beginning

i feared my destiny,
until i realized that i had power to change my life

i feared hate,
until i saw that it was nothing more than ignorance

i feared love,
until it touched my heart making the darkness fade into endless sunny days

i feared ridicule,
until i learned how to laugh at myself

i feared growing old,
until i realized that i gained wisdom everyday

i feared the future,
until i realized that life just keep getting better

i feared the past,
until i realized that it could no longer hurt me

i feared the dark,
until i saw the beauty of star light

i feared the light,
until i learned that truth would give me the strength

i feared change,
until i saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis
before it could fly

i wish that this post could make your days brighter :) May God Bless all of us~

how to identify love?

wah.. today i had so many energy and time in hand, so i will just goin to vomit out a lot of things i had kept hehe~

we do judge things by feel. isn't it?

shirt, food, interior, idols, flowers, ect. and of course, people.

especially me (and friends around me) who are studying design :)

to analysis it from its nature, love must be something to be judge by feel too right?

i pray for love to come

but then i realize one important missing thing:

i dont know what is love, how does it looks like, how does it feels like.

so, how can i know when it's coming or not??

weird right, like waiting for a guest but cant recognize it.

if it's so, perhaps i had missed it?

*_* waaahhhh.....maybe i should pray for knowing how to identify what is love. hahahaha~

anyone? some clue about how to identify that it's love that coming to you?

my last day as college student

we have a nice sitting place~thanks to kiwi ^^

hehe!!! today lunch and dinner with Amy and Kiwi. lunch at beloved ming tien, dinner at pyramid, the newly renovated ajiramen shop. located next to A&W at pyramid.

Amy and her ramen~ which is actually delicious!

Kiwi and her chicken teriyaki set (i order the same too!)

the meal is delicious. surprisingly de....Coz I'm not into japanese meal except sushi hehehehe, but maybe bcoz i was so hungry too, so it taste really good! (no really, the meat is very soft, the souce is just nice, the rice too, and the salad too, hahahah~)

and Christmas is really in the air~

ah~ additional to my previous post, i remember from what jimmy told me as guide for my boutique design, "what makes a curve looks curve is because there's a straight line"

so i want to add, what makes you know what is good is because there is something bad. so, bad, sadness, sickness, all the sorrowful things happen is to make me know and treasure what the real good is.

God do love us. in ways that we sometimes cant understand.

the last day of my 3rd year

and as today end, so does my academic life.

today is the last day in my 3rd year 3rd term college life.

perhaps today is the last day I'm attending a class, being in a classroom, seeing a teacher, and sitting with classmates. you will never know.... i am not intending to further study anymore. perhaps yes, perhaps no. if there will be any, i think it should be mandarin class ^^;

last term i get so fade up with classes. i get so tired to be a student. i even thought of giving up. thinking that perhaps i have no talent. perhaps I'm more suitable to be in business or something. it was the most hellish term ever. everybody around me is so fake. i get to learn things, and most of it is about sad facts. make me so down to hell.

life must be something in a circle shape, and so it turns. perhaps with the force of karma.

i never though that boutique design is so much fun. and my final term teacher is the best teacher i ever had :) though i doubt he actually knows my name ^^"

he is really the teacher you need in design school. the one that not dictating you but giving you bits and bits of clue. he wont give everything in one bit, but he sure know how to deliver it out, make me think, and it helps.

i personally think that he is really a good one, he mold each one of us, with our different concept and design style.

and, God sent me a great friend. though knowing her for such a short period, but she is definitely somebody i can count as friend. a sincere one in her words and action. a caring person who thinks lot about other. i feel so ashame to be next to her, realizing how self centered i am. i never actually really thinks about other too. some part is because i am the type that wont do things without knowing i will get something in return. so, i wont care for people that i know wont care about me.

today i learn few things. the most important one is that, you cant make everybody like you. though you never bad mouthing people at their back, it will never guarantee nobody will badmouthing you at your back. i said bad things about other people too. so karma will get me back one day. but it hurts somehow. so i will remember, i will be careful to whom i' m open up with.

and secondly, i finally make my conclusion, the one that keep haunting me since last term. the one that keep haunting me since my childhood. (wait. this should be the most important one! ^^ )

it's that...I'm not a weirdo. I'm not a unsocial able girl. My personality is not that odd. I can make friends. though not a lot. I'm not what my mom said about me.

i might not be as social able like my bro. or like my dad. who can start conversation out of nowhere and make friends. I'm not anywhere close to my bro skills at human relationship. but i have friends.

so when i cant fit into a group, though how hard i try, it doesn't means I'm the wrong, the odd, the bad one. no. why must i always blaming myself?

today, i am enlighten :) that had lifted up a big stone in my heart.

the blue morning

2nd of December, i woke up early, around 8 and the sky is very clear. one of the best day. the view from my window was so perfect. and it totally make me super happy :) :) :)
what a blessed day!! how the day end i had forgotten, but this is some proof for that beautiful morning :) surely one that make me happy and happy and happy!



now that i know, I'm a cool color lover. totally into blue and green hehehe~ though i actually like red shirt hehehe~




all these pictures are purely from my canon ixus 55 without single touch up. such a peaceful and relaxing blue...and the breeze was so fresh too...perfect day for laundry!



blue sky and green tree green leaves green grass, this is the kind of view i want to see everyday when i open my eyes and look out~ i will definitely choose house over condo hehe~
credit to dear Lord for this beautiful morning!

thank you again

today is a rainy day..somehow like what i expected the night before...

T_T i only get to finished board 6 after 4. and add on the saving time..double check..i got out from the house around 4.20

OMG, thank you so so so so much again... I'm really a lucky girl!
taxi to ss15 is RM7, but i decided to just go for bus. not even a minute waiting, the bus came!!!

T_T but too bad...even though i reached the printing shop 1 hour before their closing time, they rejected me...saying too much work for them for today, and can only print for me on wed...

OMG, i don't know why, but i pick up the phone and just call zoe and ask her where she print her stuffs. though she is the one who asked me where i printed and i recommend her the shop which rejected me~ and she is supposed to had gone to printing shop 3 hours back.

*_* i cant belief she is still at ss15, still printing. for 3 hours *_* and i cant belief she actually went to the wrong shop ^^; coz... i told her "the shop which is almost the last on that row" and...surprisingly, that row have 3 printing shops, for 1 at the center, and 2 located at each end. so ^^; she went to the 'wrong' end hahaha~

but hey, that 'wrong shop' actually had improve their quality! the printing was not bad...but rm.35 each. and..the paper a bit different...so...i decided to print on next wed....

Thanks God, i met zoe... she drive me back home...and some more help me buy the 6-pieces foam boards... if she was not there... or if i didn't call her... finding bus back to sunway in a rainy day is goin to be super troublesome...

Thank You so much...

now I'm goin to continue my model. finished it b4 go to bed!

pissed!!!

it's truly amazing how one simple msg can make me so pissed like hell

>( ERRRRRRHGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

this is what i hate about that msg, is that a friend asking for help for something that she can get it done easily too. why why why need me to do it for her??

this is just not the 1st time.

and what i hate most is that i CAN'T snapped back! i can't!!

why? because:

1. the information she asked me to find out concern about me too.
2. it's info about our BIG day- the presentation day
3. because we are consider friend who need to help each other, so i have to help
4. aih, this probably the last time she will do this kind of thing, so why need to spoil our relationship?
5. a short telp conversation wont cost a life

then why i am so so so so pissed????? because:

1. she wants me to ask toa tomorrow whether they will open on the next day- tue - our final presentation day- because a friend said that's sultan selangor bday.
2. hey?! don't you have toa phone no?????????????????????? i know you do have it.
3. or you -who is damn rich- can't afford to pay the telp bill?? or unwilling to??
4. or is it i appear to be very free then u want me to check it out????? i'm not ok?!
5. CALLTHEMYOURSELF!!!
6. what, are u expecting me to walk to school to main desk to ask them directly????
7. HATE THIS KIND OF PPL!
8. or is it my problem? siu hei quai? :(

arg...anyway... :( this must be the last time. hang on.

thank you

Dear Lord, thanks for Your guidance for this whole day. to be precise, yesterday.

You woke me up at the time i asked You to,
give me strength to walk and attend the class,
and extra energy to catch the bus to ss15,
a very nice weather, it's not sunny nor rainy,
i didn't have to wait long for it to come,
You even directed me to a better printing shop then the 1 i know,
this shop is great. instead of RM180 the 1st shop try to charge me, today i just paid RM80 for the same quality.
and i like their service. they are just sensitive enough to hold the paper gently, without any little crumble.
and the guy that set the printing add a little border on my paper so that they could cut it precisely a1. no other shop had done better job than this one. and with a SUPER - much more affordable price.
when i walked back i took the long road. thank You again, it still haven't rain.
i reached carefour. not that tired. thank You again, i love to walk. so i don't really bother about walking. But i really need to Thank You, for protecting me. for keeping me safe. me, who walk alone this whole day.

thank You my Lord, for guiding me this whole day.
i reach home unharmed, both myself and my paper ^^

today is just great...and Thank You again...

temptation

tonight is Friday night. i had to start my composition for my board. i had split all the items in 6 boards. tomorrow i have to print 5 piece of a1 color. i have to prepare RM250 budget for it.

i am struggling now. i want to contiue watch prison break season 2.
but once i continue watching it, i will definitely screw up. it's 9 pm now. i had 5 boards to go.

:( any healthy clear mind will shout: DONT YOU AFRAID OF YOUR FINAL?!

it's my super duper final. after this (if i pass) no more academic year for me. final chance to make things right, final chance to make myself proud of all my effort. my model is 85% by now. especially after i screwed up last term. especially after i found myself like doing boutique design. (there's a lot to play with!)

arRRRGGG.... >.<

My Lord, please guide me through tonight, keep me away from temptation....

anyway, writing this..is like i am reminding myself of what i should do, and what i shouldn't.

Tommy is right, jot down your problem and reviewing it can make things clear and easier to step forward.

i will work hard tonight and attend tomorrow's business class!

Do you believe in destiny?

Destiny. Do you believe in it?

yes i do. i believe that every single person i met in my life, everyone that cross path with me are all arranged by destiny. parents, relatives, friends from kindergarten till college, and even those people i always saw on road without knowing their name, i met them by destiny.

want some prove? i am the product of destiny :) how my dad and mom met? they met by blind date arranged by a friend. i called her nanang ai.

urm..not sure how long they date before they settle down, but i know that dad married at 36 and mom at 32. and i born a year after their marriage, follow by bro two years later.

at Hongkong last year, i heard my uncle (dad's younger bro) told my dad,

"Yeng, (dad name is Shen Ran, in hokkien become Shing Yeng) do you remember xxx auntie? (ups. i cant recall that auntie name) the auntie you always say 8 poh one? Do you remember that last time when she wanted to introduce you girl, you always rejected it? i just recalled, i remember at your wedding reception (which by then happened..20 years ago ^^; so this info only come out 20 years later) the xxx auntie was surprise to see your bride. and she told me: ' hey, that's exactly the girl i wanted to introduce to Yeng few years back!'

*_* you see. Destiny does exist!! dad and mom are just meant to be together hahahaha~
even it takes longer time, but they still end up together. even that in this 21 years of marriage they still always fights for the exactly same issue. some things never change even after 20 years =.= hahaha...swt....

all friends, house mates, people i met at college, at shops around college, even the cleaner that come to hostel every week, i met them by destiny. let me at this opportunity say again, i am really glad that they are my house mates, though sometimes we in ~boh song mood with each other, at least we are not those cat quarreling type ^^; and they are among few people that i'm comfortable to open up with.

my house mates :) pretty old pic

i wonder where my destiny will bring me to. what kind of person i will end up with? hahaha...

Prison break season 1

Prison break season 1. i just finished it. 22 episodes.

prison break is about Michael Scorfield set up a big plan to get his bro Lincoln Burrows out from prison called Fox River. Lincoln is accused for killing vice president's brother and waiting for dead penalty for a crime he didn't committed.

Scorfield is a damn smart guy =.= too smart to be true hahaha...he is a structural engineer, who happened to work at the company who handled the construction of Fox River. so he managed to steal the blue print and study it. and...translate it into artistic drawing which he made into tattoo and put it in his body. so, he is a walking blue print ^^;

for his plan needs more people, so the whole series is about him making friends and enemies inside prison, get them work for his plan, some riot, always there are unexpected events, and end it with a very long running scenes ^^ hehehe

Lincoln and Michael are orphan since small. so to Michael, his brother is the only family left. so he worked hard to get him out from prison.

the more i watch, the more Michael looks handsome *_* hahahaha! he looks cool, his character is cool, his eyes is so cold that you cant see what he is thinking, just too good to be true hahaha! his real name is Miller Wentworth.

anyway, great series. credit to zoe for borrowing me this :) and waiting to borrow the second season. currently prison break is on 3rd season ady.

today

i just back from pyramid for little bit of shopping. shop for dinner :)

the wind is nice. the sun had set. Christmas decoration on the road is shining brightly. really give a warm feel. today sky is pale blue.

christmas is on the air. christmas sale, christmas decoration, christmas song, it's everywhere.

pyramid is full with people. there's a lot of kids. couples. friends hang out together. ah. saturday night.

i' m actually glad jusco is on the furthest side from my house. i like to walk. i get to pass by a lot of new nice shops. i get to see how they arrange their aircon diffuser. there's 3 types, the sleek strips, the square, and the round. the way to arrange and distant is very different too. so i think it will not be a big problem to make my reflected ceiling plan :)

in front of Jusco there's a huge christmas set up. santa village. it was full with kids. there's even a small train, and it can fit around 8 small kids! so cutee!!!but then.. i don't really like that santa village. i feel is too crowed. and i feel if it have leveling, then all the small houses will looks nice. and.. i didn't get any nice standing point to have the best view of everything. i feel it's a mess.

nevertheless, a mess that bring lots of smile and laughter.

today sweetest couple i saw is a man and woman who a bit younger than my parents. they were both holding hands walking to their car. ah.. i wonder..if my dad and mom will hold hands when they shop together now. what i know is when 3 of us walk together, i will hold dad hand while mom walk very slow. to me it appears that she didn't put effort to walk side by side with us. or is it my dad and my fault?

anyway. when i back this Dec, i wont let that happened anymore. i will not let her walk alone at the back. dad have 2 hands, so each of us can have one side isn't it?

Antique Cake Store part 2

so far all the Japanese drama i had watched, compare to Taiwanese or Korean it is much better in my eyes because:

1. they seems to have standard format, only 11 episodes all. so, i wont get crazy for a whole week doing drama marathon hehe.. with 11 episodes i can finish in one day or 2 days..hehe.. compare to korean normally have 18-22, taiwanese one worst..might go to 30+ episodes. waahh..


2. all the drama have very different plot or theme. i had watched so far 8 sets, all this 8 have totally different story. unlike Taiwanese or Korean one, they seem to have 'season' like..after success of Autumn in My Heart all the rest of the following dramas are sad story. after the success of Full House it become comedy time. and all is so predictable!! i guest i get tired of it...


3. Taiwanese drama sometimes i feel is too silly. or too cartoon look. hmnn... not my taste...and they like to keep repeating scenes for 'remembering the past' purpose. so...let's say you are in eps. 12, u maybe can find all the summary of eps. 1-11. so it's like..so...hmmmpppp!


4. Korean drama plays on human emotional problems. i would say, they focus only on emotional problems. love story, love problem, bla-bla. nah..get tired of it. Japanese drama on the other hand focus on certain issue, along with the emotional problems of the characters. like.. in Dragon Zakura, it focus on society views towards Todai university. it's the best univ apparently, having the hardest exam make whoever successfully enter it is label as successful person. in Kurosagi it focus on a story of a swindler, specialist on swindling money from other swindler. Liar Game is about believing human at it's core is good. My boss my hero is about enjoying your high school time.


5. Japanese drama, each of it, have insert some value into the story. so i get to learn few thing from there. it talks about life. all of it don't have the fairy tale-super sweet-expected ending, but it feels very real. that's what i like the most. there's message about life for you to get.

antique cake store talks about in life, you are not only good at one thing. so if u ever failed in your most successful thing, don't just stop there and cursing life. go out and discover your another talent.Eizi is a very successful young boxer, but because of his eyes problem he was forced to stop. but stoping from his most cherish job make him discover his other talent, which is baking cakes. so he managed to become a successful baker as well.

talking about hope i guest. and hard work. and luck! hahaha. and yah, keep moving foward :)

Antique Cake Store

Hideaki Takizawa

i had just finish watching another Japanese drama, Antique Cake Store. i found it accidentally while actually i was browsing in crunchyroll for cantonese drama called Gateaux Affairs talking about cake shop too. because i type in 'cake' so i found this drama.

i was attracted because it was lead by Hideaki Takisawa, then i saw Abe Hiroshi (saw him in Dragon Zakura as lead actor) name in the list too. so i try the 1st eps.

the intro had really captured my attention. it started with asking, "why is that cake bring happiness to people?" Why people when they celebrating something they will buy cake? why even only with seeing cake people can smile?

the story is about 4 guys and a cake shop, named Antique cake store. the story starts with introducing the 1st guy, hideaki takizawa as kanda Eizi who is a excellent young boxer. he had just win a competition and rewarded by his trainer (and also his Godfather because he is an orphan) 3 pieces of cakes. later he found out the reason there were 3 cakes instead of 1 -the usual amount of the reward- is because the trainer had to inform him to quit boxing.

feeling sad, he went out for jogging at night and found a cake shop still open. curious he went in. the interior of the shops is very antique, full of antique stuffs. the boss introduce him few types of cakes, and without hesitating he devour all of the cakes left. the boss was so shock and so is eizi because all of it were super delicious. Eizi run to the kitchen and found the cake master, yuusuke, and beg him to teach him how to make all those delicious cakes.

at that moment the cake shops just started operating with only boss and yuusuke. yuusuke with super serious eye contact make the boss agree to take eizi in (while actually..the boss planned to hire cute cute girls to work as waiter ^^;) (but then yuusuke somehow having problem socializing with woman, actually afraid to get near to any woman)

2nd guy is the boss. keitaro. (eizi always calls him 'uncle' and he always insist, 'it's not uncle, it's boss!') he is a rich guy and surprisingly, hate cakes and sweet things. he is funny and good at promoting the products. his family are grandma, mother and auntie.

3rd guy is yuusuke, the cake master. He is a brilliant at making not only delicious but also beautiful cakes. yet himself admit that he doesn't love his job very much. previously he had been keep changing his working place, jumping from one to another cake shop. yuusuke weakness is very shy toward woman. he is labeled with 'not good at communicating with woman'. at times when the shop is very busy outside he still refuse to go out from kitchen to help because the customers mostly is woman ^^;

4th guy is kage. played by Abe Hiroshi ^^ Kage is a childhood friend of boss, whom he called 'waka' (aka. price) out of habit for calling him so since small. kage (aka. shadow) is also a nick name (i forget his name in the drama..because everyone keep calling him kage) he is a stiff looking guy who hardly smile and mysterious looking.

slowly the story introduce more characters, who are the customers of the shops. there's a girl who faint seeing the cakes, there's a boxer whose girlfriend pregnant and want him to find another job, there's a funny guy who fall in love with the girl (who faint seeing cakes), there's kage's daughter, eizi godfather, boss's beautiful grandmother (who become couple at the end ^^)
Not to forget, there's momoko ituka, the newspaper sports writer who come to shop to actually investigate why eizi left boxing world but eventually fall in love with yuusuke at the 1st sight.

the relationship between 4 of them grow and secret about each other unfold. at the last episode they try to clarify all secret, why eizi have to leave boxing, why boss who hate cake set up a cake shop, why yuusuke can end up hating woman and always changing shops, a bit about kage and waka past.

overall, i think it's a standard drama. the cakes all looks nice, hideaki is super cute all the way, boss is funny, yuusuke eye contact tell thousand words, kage is a funny dad who keep missing his daughter. this drama is quite old and i cant find any poster of it ^^;

photo shooting day

today our class had photo shooting at photo studio for graduation campaign project. because it was after design class so almost everyone went there together. and glad that we had some fun :) thanks to Mr.photographers, a Gan and Soon Seng patient to accept us camwhoring (*did i spell it right..?) for half an hour thought if it went normal, mostly will just spend around 15 mins ~hehehe~

because i had never went to photo studio for any indoor shooting so i was somehow excited though last night slept at 3.30 and over slept till 9.90 while my class starts 9

Tuesday is always be the day I'm in low mood because of not enough sleep. arg. it's almost closing term and i hadn't change this bad habit..and i always end my tuesday with promise: 'it wont happened again next week! i will sleep earlier next mon night!' really..I'm a loser...

ah, too bad!! not in complete composition. missing Lammy and ken.
LR= it's amy-me-yien jie-bor shin-chee wei-zoe




haha~ continuous shoot pictures are just fun to look when you put it all in order :)

Wedding - part 2

ah~ here is my personal comment about the drama :) kekekeke...

wedding is really a big steps. will need a huge number of effort to work it out. it needs so many ingredients, from love, trust, communications, happiness, bla bla bla.. super complicated.

seung woo is really a dream husband character for me. why? because he have a great reliable sense as a guy..umn..looks gentle and warm..and you will trust him for he is honest and frank. and then..he like to walk..he like to read..he wont throw things or raise his voice when angry..he cooks well..hmn..might as well seems boring..but he is a homely type..

the actor, ryu shi won is not that handsome. but he surely have a gentle look, and i just love him as seung woo. my housemates too. even the one that always says 'im not goin to get married' said seung woo looks like a good husband :) hehehe!

but perhaps he and i quite similar in being passive towards love. that's why it makes me think that a suitable guy for me should be the one opposite from my character. just like sena who is damn active and always take initative and seung woo who is more passive. when two sides too passive, surely no good outcome from it..just like seung woo and yoon su. both like each others for more than 10 years but yet never brave enough to confess.

i found a - real - life guy at college who resemble seung woo looks very much ^^ (exterior look ok?) let me describe him: he is not very handsome, not tall, not muscular, and doesnt dress up in a cool way. but! that's what make him looks humble and down to earth. i think he looks cute and friendly. and the part that i like most is his eyes ^^ i dont know why, but his eyes looks very very very very very very gentle. just fall for it ^^ happy everytime i see him ^^

ah. that's all i can say about him. coz. i never get to talk to him :( so i dont know a single thing about his character. ah. i know he is not available. hahaha. if we can be friend that would be great.

i remember there's a part sena was asked by seung woo mother "why do you like my son so much that you want to marry him?" sena said "i like the honest him, who wont lie even though sometimes it hurts me. he who doesnt know how to treat woman nicely, he who have bad fashion sense,i just love everything about him." Sena loves seung woo from his weaknesses. from his bad parts. perhaps this is what you can call real love.

i hope one day i can find a guy that i can love from his good to bad side. And i want to learn bit by bit from sena. to be more brave and run to grab what her heart says. ^^ that will be great....

Wedding

currently im re-watching WEDDING, an 18 eps korean drama lead by Jang Nara and Ryu shi won. it's about two people, meet at blind date, decided to settle down, and trying hard to work their marriage out.

Jang Nara as Sena- the rich, energetic, lovely, pink lover and courageous girl who fall for Seung woo right at their 1st blind date. Seung woo came from middle income family and work in foreign affair ministry, a future diplomat. he is calm, formal, honest (as in frank when says things) guy.

at the end of their blind date, seung woo ask sena "what do you think is the most important thing in the marriage? have you ever though about it?"

seung woo on the other hand thinks that sena is not really his type. so he didn't make any futher move and throw sena's number away.

sena who is curious, decide to call back and meet up again. seung woo said, "i think it's love". while the more sena like seung woo, to him the differences between them is too much and decide want to end it. BUT. things turn out differently, thanks to sena for being so brave to directly said "i like seung woo who is different from me. dont you like me who is different from you?" and told him that she willing to bridge their world. seung woo feel touched by her sincerity and decided that being with her, he might be able to see the world in a beautiful way.

sena who is naive and confident, belief that one day seung woo will be able to love her. so she tried her best to be someone who seung woo like. Seung woo because of sena slowly change to become a more open person and slowly learn how to show his love.

complication come at the part where sena overheard seung woo said, "to me, true love only come once in a lifetime" and found out that he the one was reffering to is yoon su- his childhood friend.

Yoon su is a very gentle woman, who in many ways resemble and similar with seung woo. sena found it hard to belief if seung woo will ever love her, and decided that break up is the only way to end her suffering from waiting. (complication from past relationship, mistrust, values differences, and insecurities)

at the later part seung woo start to be more outspoken about how he feel, and revealed that he actually loves sena (though he hardly shows it =.=) and trying hard to win back sena's heart.

no worries, it have a sweet happy ending for all the characters, including sena's girlfriends :) she have 2 best friends, one end up with seung woo's junior at his office, another one end up with seung woo's best friend.

Welcome :)

well, this is my 2nd attempt for writing blog.

previously i thought of blog as a means to express my negative feels, which i hardly find anywhere to dispose it..then it hit me that's it's embarrassing actually to let everyone know about certain things, and i hate the fact that im actually waiting for response...either to comfort or to confront. anyway, i feel it's too negative and i figure out later on that when im in fool mood, it's nicer to talk directly to a living soul, face to face, compare to write it down (though actually i express it better in words, but the feeling of acceptance is totally different)

i figure out blog can be informative. i learned few new things from reading friends' blogs.

so here, i want to start writing something that can be considered more informative rather than emotional whim.

of course, not to abandon my emotion in the writings, because after emotion is what make us human :)