My perception

it's been about 20 days since the last time we talk.

this morning i woke up noticing the birds chirping happily outside my window.

the world didn't end yet.

and i am feeling so much better. when i thought of him, it doesn't hurt anymore. nor i want to holding on to anything anymore.

his present - rilakkuma USB still hanging at my lamp looking at me. i can smile looking at it now.

one day, i really would like to know how long does it takes for him to get over me.

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this morning i thought, it's such a speedy learning- that in a short about 6 months period, i had learned so much from him. no wonder i felt like i had known him for a while.

the opposite isn't feeling the same though. he hadn't learned much from me that's why he felt we need much more time to get to know each other first. ahh...no wonder. (no, not by assumption. i asked him this on our trip to phuket and he couldn't really answer me)

i fell for him when once we talk, what do you think a relationship is for.

we had the exact same answer. to get to know each other better and to learn from each other, to grow into a better person.

the amount of things i learned from him is kinda equal to what i had learned from my besties. whom i had known for over 5 years. it's true that there's certain things only lover -one romantically related to you- can taught. not family, not friends, not even best friends.

you can keep your besties for life. no wonder some people rather stay bff than going out from that zone. i STILL pondering if he truly love that girl just as a bff. or he is just a coward hiding behind 'bff'

but that's not my story. only future can tell me this, later. some point later in this life.