recently i happened to read a friend's status update on facebook, saying something like:

'if i have to look after this and that and this and that, then who is going to looking after me?'

i recalled back, how many countless times i recite this long long time ago, during high school time.

happy i am to declare that i am no longer afraid of this question.

Universe is taking a good care of me.

Wind blow away my worries

trees shouting courage and encouragement

blue sky put a smile on my face

the sun warm my heart

and the cloud swallow my tears.

Thank you so much Universe!

countless times Universe had proved to me that my fears are baseless, folly and silly alltogether.

from my tooth mini operation, my eczema, and my fear of stepping back to aikido class. and many more, many many many more!

Friends, - remember- God is taking good care of us, so live your life free of worries. yes, it is okay to have worry, but dont let the worry has you within its hold.

to make myself happy, i.....

sing happy songs, though always off tune,

or spend some money on favourite desert or candy,

or read novel and dwell into the magical world and leave my worries behind,

but there's one real good way to lift up my mood, and i recommend it to you all, (highly- in fact!)

is to get paper and pen, and starts with, 'i am so happy and grateful now that----' and continue with whatever you want! your dreams, your hope, your heart desires.

remember to use present tense! a make belief story that you already have it in your hand, with you, right now. this moment.

as i write, i add things here and there, and polished my dreams, with more details. and getting happier. excited in the act. just like how i dwell into Lewis' narnia. this little simple act, unbelievably, works.

tell you what, i hope i can write my holiday to life! i am proposing to dad to bring us all whole family to go bali next cny for holiday. oh, dad is forever supportive, as he himself likes to jalan jalan and relaxing! but since it is premature, and who doesnt get excited on the word 'bali for holiday'? hope it is not going to be 'panas panas tahi ayam' as what the people from my hometown say, when things just 'hot' for a short while, and, that's it.

yesterday was pretty upset about something, and then come across this idea, and starts writing stories. and amazing, i become much happier at the end of the paper.

you should give it a try too! write anything! in present tense! and remember to starts with saying thank you and end it with saying thank you again. oh why, thanks to the universe of course!

it was teachers' day

yoa! i hadn't been writing (with my heart) for sometimes...

yesterday was a busy day, super busy.

main reason: it was a school holiday. to be exact,teachers' day.

the impact reason: kindergarden is close.

the closer impact: boss's little son cant stay at school during the day.

the personal impact: designer cum babysister-day on the roll~~~~~~~~~~~


ah, that little monkey was a cute one though, in the morning. while he was still shy-shy-shy and busy playing by himself or only kacau his papa. or when my senior bought him to get some chocolates at 7-11.

but then towards the afternoon, because he gets bored so he starts to talks alot. hella alot. bunch of kiddy talks.

if you hadn't experience it, you wont understand the heaviness of replying to every single kiddy question.

and i am amazed on how this 3 years old fella can behave.

i tell you one segment of yesterday afternoon story. one segment.

he came over to my senior desk, and saw there's a toy sitting on the top of the monitor. it was a badz maru figurine- my senior's favourite character. and that time she went out for meeting.

then he climbed the chair, and grabbed the maru. so i told him, dont play that please, if you want to play, i give you other things.

so i open my drawers and showed him another 8-figurines, which is from the same series but are other characters. *actually that was my senior's but she didnt want it anymore, for she collected those from eating some candy to get the maru figurine only. and her maru came after 9 tries*

so he gets down, and took out the 8-figurines and combining them, become something like a long train. 'wow! so long!'

then he said, 'look, i can made them into circle too'

then after a while he said, 'i need that one more' and pointing to the maru-sitting on the top of the monitor.

then i saw he had arranged the 8 pieces into 3 lines, so became 3-3-2. so he points at the empty slot and said, 'i need one more!'

!!!

so i said, then just arrange it this way la. i shifted the figurines and made it into 2-2-2-2

he said, 'no no no nooooooooo'

then i shifted it again, 'or this way, 4-4 also can mah!'

he insisted 'nooo............'

so i said again, dont touch that maru, coz it's caroline jie jie one. she loves that one very much so you cant play with it.

i think that was quite lame answer- and he must had thought so too. after quite for a moment, then he climbed the chair again but this time he put one figurine on the left of the maru.

'i put here. so now they are fren'

!!!!

'ah...ya.....fren...fren...ha..ha..ha..'

then he grabbed another one and put on the right of maru.

'ah...so now 2 friends there?'

'nooo.......3 fren!'

!!!!

*knocked out by 3 years old fella.

overriding bad memory

I am grateful to be given chances to override some painful memory about my childhood. Today, I am not shame to say I didn’t have a nice memory about my primary and junior high school time. God listened to my prayer and my life is getting better, and I am really grateful about it.

I belief that because I had such sad memories of my childhood that today I can write about how grateful I am for had found some great friends and experiences many happy memories.

I had wanted to write this earlier, but nevertheless, always putting important things at the back of the list, I am so sorry to myself.

Since I am small, my hearing wasn’t excellent. Thanks God, it isn’t something big or disturbing, but I had this particular painful memory. It was especially painful to the old me, being a super shy, conscious and low esteem-person in my primary school time.

I still can vividly remember my primary 5 classroom, the wind, the color of the timber table and chairs, the white tiles, on the highest floor of 3 storey building. I was schooled at girl school; I think our class had around 16+ girls.

I can’t remember which subject it was-most probably at bahasa Indonesia class- the teacher decided to play games and group us into 2 –or 3 groups, and lined us up, then create a super-long-sentence and pass it to the 1st person on the line. Yup, the –passing-sentence-hearing-test- whereby you had to whisper the complete sentence in shortest time till the end of the line.

That simple game was humiliating.

Because I (and eventually the rest of the group) drew up a conclusion at last that most of the time it was me who screwed the team up.

---

But God gave me a chance to override it. Not the memory, but the feeling attached to that particular memory.

Out of the blue I found myself among a bunch of Indonesian (new) friends that was having gathering and decided to play some games to warm up and one of the game was the-passing-sentence-game.

This time around, it wasn’t that bad. It was good.

It was filled with laugh and though my hearing didn’t improve much, this time was different because I enjoy it as a game. I had learned to loosen up and laugh at myself.

God, thank you very much! And also thanks to Juwita for bringing me to the gathering! You are my angel, and I am not exaggerating!

it rained this morning

it rained this morning,

and when i stepped out from the main door, i thought 'ah..it rain.'

then i remembered how i used to hate when it rains. because it used to made me moody and wet.

ah! i opened my old high school diary recently. how embarrasing!! super!! duper!! i shall guard it with my life and no any living soul should lays her/his eyes on it!! hahahahahhaa~ ah well...

and inside i kept mentioning how i hate the rain. HATE in capital and bold. because i used to belief that little bit of rain in my head, and that's it, i would fall sick. i was sicky that time..

but im glad now my Lord, -i cant recall what is it exactly that changes my mind- but now i like it equally whether it rains or sunny or cloudy. i mean, i just dont mind!

and i am glad i can bring myself to enjoy this rain, without getting myself sick the next day ;) and thought i still get wet... i am glad that now weather plays little in dampening my mood :D

wisdom tooth saying HI

oh...my wisdom tooth is saying hi to the world, 3 days ago.

yesterday i went to dentist (which appointment i booked 2 months ago. yes, the available slot is as far as 2 months!) and after 2 minutes inspecting my mouth, he said 'without xray i can tell, your wisdom teeth is growing side way. it had to be taken out. now the question is: timing.'

he assured me that whether i take it out now or 2-3 years later, the growth wont force the rest of the teeth out of their current position. but he wont knows whether i would get infection (from food trapped) or the teeth might hit some nerves ( Y__________Y )

he said the price could easily goes up to SGD600. Y________Y and i will get 3 days MC afterwards. the operation itself is just around 15 mins.

oh dear dentist...you made me feel (slightly) regret for choosing to become a designer eventhough both of our occupation starts with 'd follow by 'e

hahahaha~ oh, maybe i could consider marrying a dentist :p JK JK JK~


*kai msn me yesterday and said 'wow peggy, finally! feel any wiser?' swt... hahaha... btw if most of the ppl (That i know) took their wisdom teeth out..why it is call wisdom tooth?

was my final project

stumble upon it months ago, i am actually glad that it's still up. nothing much to brag about, but i want to post it for memory keeping sake :) in a practical world, who would want to build these ideas? i am glad my lecturer allowed me to explore this. my final design class was the most enjoyable one! thanks to Jimmy!

hmn...

last week i called one of my dear, because she said she needs to talk and i was busy at the office so i cant msn her.

as usual her stories are long ^^; towards the end it's my turn, which -as usual- nothing as long as hers, and i mentioned about i-took-the-wrong-bus-twice.

after listening to my whole story -she sounds puzzled- and asked, 'does it matter?'

now it's my turn to get blur, 'what do you mean?'

'i mean, is it to you an important issue to think about? if for me, things like -i left my ruller at the classroom and lost it- is something for me to tell friends lightly like a joke, laugh about it, and-that's all. to me it's more like... spices.. in our life! it puts color into your day.'

'i think it's not necessary to take every single issue seriously and think about it. just let it be!'

well, true... it's not that i always thinks about every single details, but it just happen to catch my attention- that's all.

*people like my dear is who i considered 'benefactor' to the stationary factories :p

well, this marks the difference between our characters ^^ but we still connected by hearts :)

bring Home your love

in my simple house, when i break it down into smaller pieces, i saw lots of colors hidden.
and again May God bless whoever that create digicam and whoever that pioneer the creation of camera :)

barefoot-ed

what a humble experience!

*as usual, scroll down straight for the moral of the story* :p

last weekend was pretty enjoyable :) my new-cute-friend burn D.Gray.Man for me, so i watched it at home. then i went to library again to read the book about emotions. a nice reading, trying to understand what's anger, what's happiness, what's the relation between all these emotions, and why we do this or that. interesting.

afterwards i went to take a walk at bugis village, and found a very-berry-pwetty-vintage-motif skirt-tube. it can be used as top and as a skirt. (love the dual function cutting). when i started to enter the street, i saw LOts of pretty vintage-style clothes, with those pretty flower motifs. but once i saw this particular design, none of the stuffs inside the whole village comes equal!
(*curious? lol... i plan to copy the design into my new blog header ^^)

then i went to swim at Sheren's place. she stayed at a condo with swimming pool. WOhaa ^o^ nice nice afternoon dip into cool clean water. i always love the feeling when i float on the water, the sense of freedom, the touch of water on my skin.

when i went out that afternoon, i use my new white slipper (that only cost SGD 8) and reaching near the bus stop i realize something is wrong. the right side feels too loose. then i saw that one of the lace (how do you call it.. the middle piece of the T) loosen up.. but then i ignored it and get into the bus, swimmed, ate dinner together, and then back home.

then. right in the middle of the 2 lanes road when i was crossing the road, there i stood and the handle snapped.

and i wasn't standing at the zebra cross! But thanks God, just left a small distant and the cars were still far far away. so i managed to drag my right feet with broken slipper underneath till the other side.

after a confusing moment, jugding from the distant to my house vs my leg cramp, i decided to take off the slipper and bare foot walk back home. around 10mins distant.

wah, do you know what came to my mind before i took it off? some silly thought indeed. i thought people would be staring. i thought it would be embrassing. i thought they would think i am crazy. i thought of the dirty pavement. i thought of pretty alot of things.

which turn out to be...irrelevant.

because it's near 10, so there wasn't much people outside. because it's night, everybody is tired, so no one bother to look at my feet. (well, tired or not... nothing interesting about my feet ar) and about dirty part, some water and soap did a good job in taking care of it.



ah...what a humble experience. and many thanks to Singapore goverments for making each and every single road clean. and almost all pavement are either tiles, polished concrete or pebble wash.

moral of the story:

DONT BUY the overly cheap slipper arrrr!!! it might throw you into a life-threatening situation!! (well, abit eXxxxageratting hehehe)

bring your love home

inspired by an email, talking about bring your love home, i decided to take out my camera and started to break down my home to smaller pieces. i am editing the rest, hope to upload the rest tomorrow :) these two are those i love best.

aahh... and then i realize again, camera indeed is a great invention! i am seeing my house differently now ;)

talking about appreciation and be thankful to what we have in hand now.

pretty vs lazy

tadaa..this morning..i quai quai did sit up 100x ^^ and leave the home at 9 and arrived early at the office.

this morning when i passed by the market-on my way to the bus stop- i heard an auntie speak so loud to an uncle about.. someone who will come to pick up all paper boxes for certain price. she was talking in cantonese, and i thought, how comforting it is to be able to understand what people around you are talking about.

i mean, generally elders here will speaks more hokkian, or in mandarin. or other unknown dialect. or tamil.

then when i got into the bus, two aunties sitting next to where i stand were chatting something in mandarin. then one of them asked the other what's her dialect.

then she said she is guang dong dialect. and the other sounding excitedly replied 'ngo tou hai ar'

then then they start chatting in cantonese, and again i thought, ah, how comforting.

then at last one of them kinda said out that she is already 70+, the other was so surprise. curious, i take a look too. heehee, i know i know, kepoh.

WAH. she was so fashionable! i can't see her wrinkle behind her -glamourous sun-glasses- but she had a nice short perm hair, wearing a nice clothes and matching accessories. in one glance, i would have thought she is on her late 30s!

and on the contrast (totally) the other auntie looks tired and plain. short and kinda thin hair, with just normal t-shirt. well, she was from pasar i see and probably just heading straight back home. but i was really surprise when she said she's around 50. only.

i bet she felt bad when she said that out loud... and the fashionable grandma (70+ leh!) comfort her saying, 'if you doll up yourself you could looks better than me thousand times'

ah.. that's make me think. you know i have heard this, but still it's easily forgotten:

'in this world, there's no ugly female. there's only LAZY female.'

papaaaaa! that's so trueeeeeeeee >o<>o<

mark twain said it best:

'i have had THOUSANDS of problems in my life, most of which never actually happened.'

human: the creature of habit

i am suppose to be working on my project, but.. want to take this opportunity *everybody went out* to write something for my dear friend.

it is taken from the self motivation book that -ehem- took me half a year to finish -ehem-shame on me-

to summarize the issue, my dear friend is a person who thinks, 'i know i wont like it so i am not going to try it.' i disagree about it, but couldn't find a better words to explain why it's not a good idea.

taken from 'Secrets of the Millionaire Mind' by T. Harv Eker, wealth file # 16 is:

'Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear STOP them'

why is 'Action' is crucial? because it's the BRIDGE that connects the 'inner world' and 'the outer world'. so to say, to make your dreams come true, put in some action.



' Rich and successful ppl have fear, rich and successful ppl have doubts, rich and successful ppl have worries. they just dont let these feelings stop them.' it is not necessary to try to get rid of fear in order to success.


then, T. Harv emphasize on this:

'the only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable'

meaning that...we have to get out from our comfort zone, and get comfortable with 'uncomfortable zone' until it become part of our 'comfortable zone'

expand - stretch - enlarge - your comfort zone, that's what he mean with 'growing'

'nobody ever die of discomfort, yet living in comfort zone has killed many ideas, more opportunities, more actions, more growth than anything else combined!'

so he said, since we are creature of habit, we need to practice this 'growing action'. the next time you feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or afraid, instead of shrinking and retreat, PRESS FOWARD.


and by doing so, the fear will subdied, and we will discover new things. and ultimately, we will become UNSTOPPABLE!

well.... worth a try, dont you think so?

090316 - 22 blessings list

I believe that every single cell in our body needs to be shaped. All needs to be trained. Practice really make things perfect. (or closer to be)

And one super big challenge that I have is to train myself to become more positive thinking. And so I found a simple way which is to list 100 things we are grateful for, everyday.

Because in order to be positive you have to associate yourself with positive things and thinking positive and so you can bring more positivity into your day.

ermm...since 100 is a kinda long list...ermmm...let me starts with 22 items first ya.... and i promise to myself to keep this habit everyday!

1. i have never get wet by rain whenever i am outdoor :D

2. this morning i woke up automatically 7.45 and went out to jog for half and hour :D

3. the weather is great, the wind is cool and i get to see the blue sky :D

4. yesterday i watch shrek 2 on tv :D it was enjoyable!

5. and i ate chee kueh from hawker centre and fell in love with it :D it taste good!

6. i finished BLINK in 1 week :D i want to be like kiina- a fast reader!

7. i learned alot of things from that book and im grateful for reading it

8. i went to cycling again with juju at east coast and im getting firmer on riding it :D

9. we almost get lost, but thanks to uncle bus driver who is so nice and helpful (he actually called out to me when we reached the bus stop but didn't see me get down.)

10. then thanks to few more uncles too, who just got into the bus, who happened to hear what the driver said, help me with simple gesture pointing towards the direction of the underground, 'that side, go that side then you will find the underground that will bring you to east coast park'

11. then when we get down, there's one indian lady on the bus stop who (must be) happened to hear, also help me by pointing to the correct direction. the bus stop actually are on the housing area and there's no whatsoever clue saying the direction of the east coast park, so i get blur.super grateful for them to be so warm :D

12. then even though from juju research saying that sat will be a rainy day, we was cycling under full sunshine, the sky was blue and the wind was warm :D heehee...and i get tanned again... hehehe...

13. i went to ququ house and met little randal. he can walks now so everybody get busier trying to keep an eye on him :D hehehe and he is as cute as ever with his little cheeky smile :D

14. and of course, thanks for a great daddy who is super supportive..

15. and i like my room, it is pretty windy and spacious, and i wish it could get a touch of morning sunshine

16. my lady owner is a nice person. and clean. and generous as well :D she often treat me with her cookings

17. of course. my job is not bad too. lately i have things to do so it wasn't boring but yet, i can still online and browsing too.

18. i meet some very nice new friends at my class... :D the seniors are friendly and passionate about teaching me how to improve...

19. thanks my Lord for arranging everything and telling me where is the most convenient class to go to..

20. there's one senior that inspire me alot, i wish to be like her one day! :D

21. my laptop! thanks for staying with me these 4 years through all the heavy duty rendering and surviving virus attack :D

22. i love my hair now :D it is so crispy and stay in a nice shape for most of the time :D

i want to say Thanks to God for arranging things for me, like i believed: things happen for reasons and that reason is all for your good.

yesterday i asked God for one thing. after that i stand at bus stop and waited the bus that normally come within 5-10mins for almost 25mins. then my senior called and told me he didnt have office keys so i walked back to lock the door. so then i thought, i didn't get the bus must be because i still have something important to do.

then the bus came, and on the way i received a phone call from unknown ID.

to cut it short, it was an answer to the request i made an hour ago.

had i been able to catch bus earlier, arrive at my destination, then i would have missed that call (because i would left my phone on the bag).

what i want to say is... things works in weird but wonderful way.

smell

do you know that before rain there's always a sweet smell in the air? a sweet and soft smell that i love so much.

when i was small i mistaken it as sea smell, only recently then i realize it's the rain that's coming :)

another smell that i love equally is the grass smell. or to be correct the wet grass smell. the smell that a lawn being watered. or when the dew still visible.

and another is the pine tree smell :)

ah... thanks God that even in such a big city i can still enjoy these things. or perhaps it's because im surrounded by high rise now that all these small things become important to me.

welcome 2009

weew! cant belief it! 2009!

it didn't really hit me actually until i back to office at 2nd and type the file name. i always use date infront of the file name (i learned that from my 1st office) and i found it practical in sorting out things.

i use yy/mm/dd_file name format. so that day after my rendering when i name it, suddenly it wasn't starting with 08---- but 09---

kinda remember when i was in primary or secondary, i have to write down the date on each sheet of my homework papers, on the right top. and when it's january i had always make mistake on the year. ^^

my friend asked me what is my new year resolution. i didnt make one.

because i haven't even completed the past few years one: to be fluent in mandarin, speak, read, and write T_T

i hope everybody had made some themselves and i wish you guys and girls GUD LUCK in fulfilling it! :D

and last but not the least, thanks to 2008! i had a great year with lots of blessings :) looking foward for more good things!