overriding bad memory

I am grateful to be given chances to override some painful memory about my childhood. Today, I am not shame to say I didn’t have a nice memory about my primary and junior high school time. God listened to my prayer and my life is getting better, and I am really grateful about it.

I belief that because I had such sad memories of my childhood that today I can write about how grateful I am for had found some great friends and experiences many happy memories.

I had wanted to write this earlier, but nevertheless, always putting important things at the back of the list, I am so sorry to myself.

Since I am small, my hearing wasn’t excellent. Thanks God, it isn’t something big or disturbing, but I had this particular painful memory. It was especially painful to the old me, being a super shy, conscious and low esteem-person in my primary school time.

I still can vividly remember my primary 5 classroom, the wind, the color of the timber table and chairs, the white tiles, on the highest floor of 3 storey building. I was schooled at girl school; I think our class had around 16+ girls.

I can’t remember which subject it was-most probably at bahasa Indonesia class- the teacher decided to play games and group us into 2 –or 3 groups, and lined us up, then create a super-long-sentence and pass it to the 1st person on the line. Yup, the –passing-sentence-hearing-test- whereby you had to whisper the complete sentence in shortest time till the end of the line.

That simple game was humiliating.

Because I (and eventually the rest of the group) drew up a conclusion at last that most of the time it was me who screwed the team up.

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But God gave me a chance to override it. Not the memory, but the feeling attached to that particular memory.

Out of the blue I found myself among a bunch of Indonesian (new) friends that was having gathering and decided to play some games to warm up and one of the game was the-passing-sentence-game.

This time around, it wasn’t that bad. It was good.

It was filled with laugh and though my hearing didn’t improve much, this time was different because I enjoy it as a game. I had learned to loosen up and laugh at myself.

God, thank you very much! And also thanks to Juwita for bringing me to the gathering! You are my angel, and I am not exaggerating!