wow. it's been a looooong while.

i had an exciting day, but i wonder if it is this PMS thingy that left me feeling bad now.

or is it because i cant seems to design anything good now?

this has really got me thinking how fragile is this thing called 'happiness'

with the raise of hope, disappointment will always follows behind.

no, it doesn't mean that 'Dont raise your hope' but to be aware of the other possibility.

have a good day everyone!

last night my mom asked me whether i would visit her grave and pray for her after she departed.

i said, who knows.

she glared at me.

i continue, who knows? i might passed away before you left.

my point is, why are you always demanding for stuffs that i cant predict?

and last night i came to the conclusion of a long search.

she is incapable of accepting me for who i am.

simply too busy with the image of 'a perfect daughter' in her head, and busy with wondering why im not my cousins, why im not the same as what she saw in them.

am i disappointed?

perhaps it is more like...relieved. since i have gotten the true honest answer from herself.

now, what should i do?

everytime im seeing the samples of cover letters looking for job, resumes, i feel a big deal of discomfort. talking about making myself sounds

i must push myself out of this comfort zone.

UK day 305- thank you for everything!!! =)

i had just closed my bank account.

and i realize... im glad that everything is over. simply relieved.

i just dont understand why does it have to take more than 3days for any debit usage to deduct the money from any account. i was told that 'that's why we tell customer not to use their debit card a week before closing the account' unfortunately, i had never heard that before. so ridiculous!

how freaking slow the way they work here. thought the lady was friendly, i was perplexed when she said 'i will pass this form to customer service, and after the amount is cleared-hopefully they will close the account for you'

?? what ?? hopefully ?? i asked and laugh nervously, 'what do you mean by hopefully??'

cut thing short- again- im just simply relieved that im leaving UK tomorrow.

back from bristol-bath-stonehedge-london!

my cousin and her basket of bacteria-virus- soft toy (YES, they are all carton version of bacteria virus! and she recognize each one of them correctly! really a doctor-in-making!)

final holiday trip!

went to bristol to find my cousin. met a china girl travelling on her own in the train and we had a nice chat.

bristol was rainy for the whole day that day. after we enjoyed our pasta, we just stroll around for a while and head back to my cousin's flat for a nice sleep followed by pizza dinner. cosy!

second day we went to 2 small charming villages called Castle Combe and Lacock. a cloudy day followed by sunny summer sky <3 and we saw a couple getting married at Castle combe. real nice small warm gathering.

Lacock is a village previously owned privately by Matilda Talbot-but she donated it to national trust. we visited Lacock Abbey -a small castle-look-alike-home, which is shocking inside.

such a lavish, bloody rich awesome-ness. even by my-modern standard. imagine how rich they were during those days!

third day we visited the famous Stonehedge! i love the journey much more than the destination. seriously, it is just some rock to my eyes. but the english gentle hills on the way-or the horse carving on the hill-visible from miles away- are so much more interesting!

we also visited Bath-and definitely went in to the Roman Bath complex.

bloody hell. Roman are definitely people who knows how to enjoy life-starting few hundreds year back!

forth day i bit cousin goodbye and head to london for a day trip!

thanks God for the awesome sunny day, i spent most of my time in Hyde park, oozing.. reading book, lying on the grass.

(something that you must do while visiting UK during its summer!)

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and so now had done 75% of my packing, time to sleep!