My perception

Have i ever mentioned that there's a particular drama that i really like, despite it wasn't popular?

i thought, if only i could be as brave as the lead actress. i want to be that brave when it come to being honest with my own feeling.

and i kinda like the gentle, serious -lead actor.

have i ever mentioned that my story with him, turns out to be a very similar replica to that drama? in a very strange way, it did. i turned to become that brave character whom i admired, and i also turned to become as complicated as she was when she discovered that her husband's first love is his best friend. and she was so depressed because back then she overheard how her husband believes that he can only fall in love once in this life time.

and at the end she ruined her own brightness and confident with insecurity about how different she is from his first love and that she couldn't compete or even get close to that image.

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just now i thought of the kind of comic if i were to become the writer. there's always a character in my head who lead a simple life and started to take notice about how simple messages from a friend has been cheering her up. quietly and slowly, he took up a space in her heart.

now that i think about it, it really happened to me in my real life too.

out of these stories in my head, i have never have an ending for them. i didn't have the courage to write a good ending the girl in my stories deserves.

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moral of my story? your inner world creates your outer world.