strange turn

......

following the sadness, there's come the anger, and venting it out to generous girlfriends who shared their ears for me. 

i blocked him on whatsapp, and while he was asking if anything happened over facebook message, i said i guess something happened, and things changes. and being childish, i un friend him right away. too sad to handle it at that point of time.

i have seen my brother flirting around with girls, and there's one un friend and block him after awhile, and because she means nothing to him, my brother was chill and find another toy to play with.

i am baffled as to why he asked me not to make my own deduction from assumption. and if there's anything i want to verify or clarify.

i told him, that's blood generous of you. i dont see that im in any position to ask for clarification -therefore from previous words said im drawing my own conclusion. but im taking his offer and i talked to him.

without expecting anything except to sort it out, so that in the future when i look back, i wont be eaten by curiosity.

to cut it short, he said that he wasn't just flirting around for the sake of flirting. he said that he really cares. 

so, the same degree of feeling are mutual. 

so is the same degree of confusion of what's to do next. 

we both agree that we dont know each other well and to take things as friend now. 

the best thing about him is that we have the very exact view on things related to relationship. so, it's good. this slow move, starting again like a normal friend and let it flow normally. i like it that way. i always wonder if such guy exist or i was just being naive. a guy friend said guys dislike wasting time putting effort to know a girl without knowing if there's a dating possibility. that's the common norm over here. i hate the feeling that im judged by them with the bar called 'are-you-a-suitable-candidate-to-be-my-girlfriend' it's demoralizing, because taste is personal preference, and when he rejects you based on his set of standard, you couldn't help but feeling unworthy somehow.  

just my luck. thank you universe! 

had i not made all that childish move, we wont be honest to each other. nor i would know how he felt bout me. so there really is meanings behind events that happened.

im sure there's more reasons to be revealed in the future.