My perception

a trial to my love.

i come to think about this as the season passing by.

i had always love trees. love them for their shade. their comfort. the green leaves. i could never explain why, but i had always grateful for the amazing big trees outside the hostel at malaysia, and followed by a real nice tree at the back of our flat at singapore, and then to some trees at the backyard at my 1st hostel at UK.

their green calming color, and the huge solid trunk, and the comfort given by the shade cast by sunshine, such a blessing human has from the mother earth.

was so very excited as they started to change color. that pretty yellow shade that i saw from my bus seat, amazing rows of yellow-orange-red-green shade, and a wonderful pile of dried up leaves shattered on the green grass underneath.

amazing. very berry extraordinary.

and i thought, ah, a different side of the tree that i love, and i love this side equally.

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and eventually brought to realization, the amazing colors doesnt stay. they come and go. and leave the trunk and branches naked as it enters into winter.

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and im asking myself often since past months, "will i still be able to love you equally when you are in the driest state, hardest hit by the winter, in your naked -most ugly look?"

i dont know yet, i dont know yet.

they are always paired with grey dark murky sky, reminds me alot of the ghost movies setting.

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im sure i will be brought up to another realization of how to appreciate this less lovely side of my love. or maybe not. anyway the important part of this is i belief it's God's test for me. for the egoist me.

will i be able to stand steadfast to my love be it in a good or the worst scenario available?

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so friends, i think it is not right to go around saying, 'oh i love xxx very much' only upon seeing xxx in their best state. you are only right saying so if you had both encounter and able to handle xxx in the best and worst state.