today im thankful for the foods that i have, for the air that i breath, for the sun that shines on us, and for the clean water access that i have.

for the air con to protect me from the hot humid weather. for the internet that connects me to some friends out there.

and btw, yesterday a friend came barging in and said, 'im sad'

so naturally, i asked why. and there he went all the way pouring in what kind of blow he had received from a girl he fancy.

im perplexed that these days there's still people want to know my opinion about their love life. i mean, im not in a relationship myself, who is this fool that come asking for my opinion?

but he said he felt enlightened. because i asked, 'why should your track record defines who you are-or who you will be tomorrow?' because he seemed...proudly announcing some negative aspect of himself.

i didn't know i could come out with that kind of sentence. that's Universe's working to him through me. i really wish he would not be so easily disheartened again.

im glad he came barging in with his story. im glad to know i could pass on the good deeds that i had received from other friends who had kindly heard me out when i was in trouble myself.

so if any of you perhaps needed any random ears (or eyes lol coz we are chatting) if ever you wish to be heard-randomly. maybe...could try mine.

today i am thankful for the electricity, it has allowed me to do things i want to do.

and i am thankful for the peace of mind that helped me to finish what i had abandoned for few weeks.

well, actually. it was a piece of comment i heard from my contractor. it fuels my spirit and 'i will do my best and i wont disappoint my client anymore. i want to improve my service' that's what i thought when i heard that piece of embarrassing comment...

and thank you to mom, recently she had been gentle although i am currently sick. usually when any of us sick, she got twice harsher. im just relieved she isn't this time.

thank you..

I feel sad when it turns out that -me, rearranging brother's room (i change the position of the bed and wardrobe) had led to dad and mom quarrelling for days.

i change it to a better position according the knowledge i gathered from reading fengshui books. the door opens to (hit) the bed head, and it is a coffin position (facing main door)

but after few days of rearranging stuffs back to it's original position, i found out that mom is absolutely reluctant to change old position. or throw away unnecessary stuffs.

to me, there's some drawers that could be used for other purpose, and rather than listening to my proposal she only wants to be back to how it was.

if there's a better way of using the space, why not? it was fine the way it was, or was it?

im tired. and i was sincere offering help to cook last night's dinner and she rudely shoved me away. is my cooking that bad?

thank you Universe, for teaching me something new again.

it is true that i have heard, 'you create your outer world from your mind/ instead of responding or reacting to it, take a step forward to create it'- those sorts of words.

honestly, never truly understand them actually.

i had been coughing since early this week, and yesterday it took for the worst. feverish and constantly coughing with yellow mucus non stop coming out- i simply turned into a coughing monster.

i had been looking forward to this friday night. a friend's birthday dinner. everybody will be there and it would be fun and i simply do not want to miss it.

but seeing my condition, by my estimation it would need more than a day to recover.

"right, how can i go? i shouldn't go. i would scare everybody off with my cough"
"sigh, but i want to go. -oh well, but i shouldn't, really"

in between my afternoon naps, i was back at my laptop to draw slowly and listening to Louise Hay on youtube. i can't clearly remember which sentence, but it told me to clearly visualize what i want, not simply going around reacting to my outer world.

"hmnn? so my coughing is my outer world reality. while inside, i want to instantly recover and be at the bday dinner without coughing a single cough"
"oh dear, impossible! you shouldn't go, dont go around spreading bacteria"
"i dont think i can recover this fast"
"but i wish to be there together with them"
"CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR MIND?!"

it's funny, i did cough once or twice during the dinner but it is really the first time ever for me to recover that quick from my fever. i knew that laughter could help me to recover faster and i laughed alot during the dinner. creating memories with them, that is way more important than my whim over little fever.

thank you for this lesson universe. i should go on stronger on mastering my own mind.

Thank you for the group of friends that i had been hanging out with recently. well, i had been with them for the past year, but recently they created a group chat in Line, and somehow to me it feels more like a real group. it feels good to be a part of something. a sense of community. or unity.

but it doesn't necessary make me any closer personally to any of them.

but i will just enjoy this while it last. after all, we are all hitting the age of starting to settling down. who knows how much longer we can hang out like this.

so thank you!

it is surprising, to realize that i had been thinking,

'the client wont be able to pay that amount. dont scare them away. lower your price'

oh geeh. i m going to vibrate a new thought.

'of course they can pay it. it is a sensible amount! i totally deserve it =)'

otherwise, i wont be able to increase my income & my inner capacity.

btw, thank you universe for making me realize that and introducing me another new client =)

few days ago i saw him online on facebook. i was reading documents, but i thought...just let my facebook page on. and he pm-ed me.

we had a chat, like normal friend, catching up. the biggest difference between him and my other friends laid in one question,

'what your future plan?/ what's your plan now?'

especially with my local friends, we seemed to be only running around talking light hearted stuffs, nonsense joking, empty words.

it's really good that once in a while there's someone with whom you can share some meaningful talks.

and it is really good to know that my heart is quite now. no more longing or false hope.

let's just see where the wind will bring me to.